My gays and lesbians and all folx on the spectrum!

Where did YOU go?

Sure we got a few gay couples at our church, but we recently lost our only lesbian family!

Progressives have a lot of love for the LGBTQ+ community that is not very-well reciprocated. But we keep trying to impress this tiny demographic and are intensely focused on them. I don’t get it at all.

No one doubts for a second that ELCA is gay-fiendly. All the churches have huge Pride flags, host days of remembrances, embrace whatever Queer Theology has evolved into these days. It’s just that it’s fishing in a small pond when it comes to recruitment.

Gays and Lesbians have been married for a while. They had kids, and are raising kids. Because they are normal people who want to be treated as normal people. The Church treats them like they’re magical or under distress – it’s almost never the case and usually quite the opposite. Gay couples are far and away the top-earners in any social class. That’s what happens when two dudes live together with nil kids. The lesbians aren’t far behind.

And gays are normal people – it seems that most of them are bored and tired with all the attention paid to them. And another rainbow cupcake doesn’t move the needle.

So normal, in fact, that LGBTQ+ are now voting REPUBLICAN more and more. Ironically, that should be praised as a true victory for normalization, that LGBTQ+ folx can vote beyond their identity.

Based on available exit polls and reports:

• 2016: Approximately 14% of LGBTQ+ voters supported Donald Trump.
• 2020: Around 27-30% of LGBTQ+ voters backed Trump, with figures varying slightly by source.
• 2024: Exit polls indicate about 12-13% of LGBTQ+ voters voted for Trump, with some sources suggesting up to 18%.

Directionally, they’re comprising more and more of the Red vote. Which is a wonderful thing for several reasons.

1.) Inclusion to the Republican party as a significant voter base means that their agenda items will more and more be incorporated into the Party Platform.

2.) It means that LGBTQ+ are finally getting comfortable to vote for things other than perceived bigotry. Progressives had three elections to convince them otherwise and it looks like their message hasn’t resonated.

I don’t think Progressives have grappled with this new reality. To me, it appears the church is perpetually stuck in 2012, fighting for a cause that they already won with Marriage Equality.

Onto the TQ+ folx!

Gender-Binaries, Trans, and all the wild colors that are on the 436th+ version of a Pride Flag are loud and proud. (Maybe? I dunno. I guess they are? I hope?) This is where things get confusing, because there was NO issue until Progressives made it an issue, and it’s still not an issue. Mostly, these good people need support in social services, and have comorbidity issues that include mental wellness, poverty, personal identity….it’s a lot. Frankly, they have a lot that they need and it’s really not something a church can handle deftly, because professional services barely can keep up with the ongoing needs. But, THEY’RE normal too. Their struggles are not Queer-unique (maybe certain diseases are more prevalent, but nothing is special with their issues that are not represented in other groups.) So, our normal friends, are they okay?

Lets see!

Check out Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org).

Here I’ll give you two data points from their website – they’ve kept track since 2011 and have the deepest database on the stats

Since Transgender Day of Remembrance 2023, HRCF identified 36 deaths of transgender people, bringing total deaths since tracking began in 2013 to nearly 400

HRC Foundation has estimated that there are more than 2 million of us across the United States. 

White folks are 5x likely to die than Trans. I dunno what to say but I feel like Progressives don’t read their own studies from their own sources. Sure there’s bigotry and weirdness, but all in all that’s mostly within the LGBTQ+ dating community. It’s a body preference issue that really doesn’t impact 99.5% of society. As for the other issues, there’s complexity in these lives that won’t be handled in a quick rally, or a Sunday Funday celebration – it’s insulting to assume it would. It’s weird that Progressives try. It’s not even better than doing nothing – the money going to the conferences and seminars and all the frickin’ college courses….just give Queers the money directly and let them choose how to use it in their lives. Or give it to a LGBTQ+ resources clinic that is DEDICATED LONG-TERM to helping.

So why the obsession? Who are we doing this for anyway? The Progressives keep doing MORE events, MORE seminars, MORE conferences. The net results is to intimate that there are People are out there, doing Something Bad, Somewhere Close, and we need to make sure we (LGBTQ+ and Allies) are Safe. Safety is a great thing to rally around – you can never prove you’re TOO safe, after all…

But it’s really unhealthy to tell people a.) they’re victims and b.) there’s folx out to get them and WE are the “good guys.” Again, we’re a church. We’re not social services with specially-trained professionals. If they want to join a summer softball league to play against the Catholics – sure. If they want to participate in a bake-sale, color the cupcakes any combination they want! But keep the prayers holy and the services on-time.

Again, the whole purpose is for people to integrate and normalize their lifestyle. It’s a big country and I am not dense that there’s phobias everywhere. But…..does it need to consume so many days of remembrances? Do we have to put them all on a pedestal, a position plenty are uncomfortable with in the first place? Why do we treat people like they’re magical beings that do no wrong? And we offer help but what are we exactly committing to? We saw what happened in the past with migrants and I don’t know why we haven’t learned our lesson. At the end of the day, it’s an insult to their dignity and infantilizing.

If I had one message to my Progessive friends: stop using people as props – it’s rude and very patronizing. And no one likes it, so there! Also, don’t over-commit and under-deliver: it’s completely dishonest and everyone is disappointed. Hello Church Trauma (In my opinion, it’s really People Trauma. The Church Doctrine is pretty clear where it stands.)

That’s just my ignorant take on the matter. I think the church is over-doing it for a statistically small group that really doesn’t like the attention. And frankly, not a lot of them go to church, inclusive or otherwise. Sometimes it seems like it’s hard for Progressives to take a Win. And it annoys everyone, including the gays/lesbians/queer communities who just want to live normal and not have to CARRY this whole cultural movement on their backs, constantly. Progressives just don’t seem to care what LGBTQ+ folx really want and seem to insist that more flags will protect them, or we’re just another rally away from toppling….what? The Patriarchy? The “Man”? lol – Progressives love convincing people that boogeymen are real. But worse, they try to convince people that THEY can actually solve long-term problems. It’s just not the mission goal for most churches.