I have a lot of experience raising two children – precisely 5 years with Jacob and almost 8 with Ellie. In the time, whenever we go to a toy shop, a local groceries, or to Target (Monks-in-training need stuff too!) I always tell the kids to say “Thank You”. I heard on an Ezra Klein podcast that there only culturally etiquette time to say “Thank You” in both directions is between the buyer and the shop-owner. It is an exchange of value that is mutually beneficial to both parties, so both parties are grateful. I didn’t know that – that podcast I listened to this year and I’ve been doing it out of “gotta teach these kiddos some manners….” instinct.

But, is that really the only time to say Thank You? I don’t know if that’s true because that would indicate that no other engagements have mutual benefits to the parties. Is it weird to be grateful for the Post Office? Or is it something I should take for granted? If I take it for granted, then I have an expectation of service and communication. If I take it as gratitude, then I’ve no expectations at all. I am unsure because both options feel extreme. I think it really comes down to other side’s expectations as well – if they’re wondering the same thing or wanting the similar. If one was moderate-inclined, one would try to hold both tracks in parallel.

Oh whatever. Just say Thank You.  No one does it enough and rarely do people thank the thankers – so make sure you spot the few left still trying to be generous in spirit and give them a heartfelt thanks. These are challenging times and it’s easy to lean-back and close up. It’s expected.

Thank Yous are rare in Progressive circles. I got back from Corpus Cristi, TX for a charity event (crawfish boil at the pier!) and it was as Conservative as can be, but one of the best parties I’ve ever been to. Everyone was friendly and polite – I felt like I could sit at any table and have a conversation. And I did. Not only that, I got silly and bet on a raffle, then won 150 lbs of crawfish. No clue what to do with all that crawfish – I can’t bring it on the plane back to Chicago with me after all! But not to worry – friendly strangers came up to me excited. I told them the problem, and then Jason said “shoot, I’ll host.” Melinda the REALLY Baptist school teacher (does not dance) is bringing a keg of beer even though she doesn’t drink. I had 3 complete strangers turn into friends and help me plan a party (it’s in June in CC! Let me know, I’ll send you an invite!) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All three said thank you and offered to make “the good problem” of what to do with all that crawfish into a good time.

At the last Progressive event I went to, the host handed out cards to the audience some topics as conversation starters.  I worry that the generous spirit of Progressives will be curtailed through self-censure and community-reinforced norms to “keep up appearances” to insulate itself from what is a rapidly deteriorating situation. Progressives don’t seem to trust each other, friendly strangers, or themselves. They struggle to say Thank You because they’re used to being thanked more than being grateful. It’s hard to give charity to the rich and self-important, they’ll think you think less of them (which implicitly tells you what they think of YOU, btw) and so will refuse gifts, offers for help, or anything outside the norm or etiquette in that community (we ALWAYS do the Pride parade at this park, even though this year it’s a hassle and we could do it somewhere else.)

I am Progressive-in-spirit, but I have to shake my head at what the Community-at-Large is doing with their time and efforts. More on that later.